THE WHY: WHY I CHOSE BOUDOIR PHOTOGRAPHY
- Genie Claiborne
- Aug 18, 2017
- 3 min read
First I am going to start off saying that I am much better with pictures than words but I feel this is important to share. So here it goes!
photo credit: Jessi Field
Growing up I was a very shy quiet girl. I read all of the time and doodled anytime I had a pencil in hand. I was usually a sweet girl with a big heart. I loved (still do) animals. I was always very maternal sticking up for my younger siblings and other young kids. I was pretty awkward. We had a one income household. My dad worked his butt off to make sure we had the basics and my mom worked her butt off at home making sure everything was well taken care of. We did have the basics but I did not wear the nicest clothes or have the newest things. I was not and am not ashamed of that but it made me a very easy target. From as early as I can remember kids gave me a hard time. Its kind of funny how its so much easier to remember times that affected you negatively than those that do positively. I was made fun of everything from my name, to my hair, to the way I talked.
Middle school was the worst. Kids are going through tons of changes during that time so I feel that is why some of the treatment during that time had a lot of lasting affects. This was when kids were meaner than just not letting me play with them. It was when they would seek me out just to be ugly. I remember being called ugly, was told I was stupid (even though I was in advanced classes and made good grades) , told I had a flat face and the list goes on.
I began developing my self image during this time. Sadly it wasn't pretty. I believed these people.
High school was a little better but it still had its moments. Those actions from my younger years haunted me into my adulthood. I remember after having my second child, I remember
standing in front of the mirror looking at myself naked. The door was locked and it was just my reflection and I. I stood there and I picked myself apart. Every little bit. I was more cruel to myself than anyone else had ever been to me. And I cried and cried and cried.
I have gotten better with self acceptance but even now I still struggle. Over a year ago I got married. It was a beautiful and happy day. I received tons of pictures of our smiling faces and instead of seeing all of the happy that was in the images I caught myself picking myself apart again. My chin stuck out weird, my nose looked funny, I had a double chin, my teeth looked funny from the side... I WAS RUINING MY PICTURES. I had to literally tell myself to stop and look at how freaking happy we were and guess what... I saw the beautiful bride that I was. The beautiful person that my husband saw.
So let me get to my why... I am raising a daughter. She is smart and kind and strong and beautiful. I never ever want her to look at herself as I have done myself. I am over society telling women they are not valuable if we don't look a certain way. I don't want ANYONE to do to themselves as I have done to myself.
I want to lift others. I want to show them through my talents that they are beautiful. I want them to know they are valuable. It makes me so happy to show women in all stages of their life that they are in fact goddesses and are perfect.
Yes I have a flat face, and my chin does kind of stick out, I weigh more now than I ever have, I do talk funny but... but.... I have awesome red hair and freckles, and a pretty awesome butt. Most importantly I AM a mom, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a boss, a creator, a lover of books and animals, and so much more. I am valuable, beautiful and loved.
YOU ARE TOO!
ALL WOMEN ARE VALUABLE!
I am passionate about the work I do. I am literally in knots between the sessions and reveal because I am hoping that I did the job that I set out to do, to show the woman in front of me the beautiful woman that I see, that her partner sees, that her family and friends see. I want every woman that leaves my studio to see and feel their worth.
-Leslie
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